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S O U L O N G I N G S *Indian Diaries*

Deep sigh, as the nervous system relaxes and I feel more open to converse with my Soul…

What is that I truly desire?

Beyond anyone else’s expectations, including my own ego’s…

This time has been for many of us a dark night, a deep dive into the void of the Universe.

A Return to the Womb of the Great Mother.

The one that devours us and holds us in her alchemical embrace of unconditional Love.

Holds us so tight and doesn’t leave us until we remember ourselves.

Again and again.

This alchemical inner process doesn’t always look good or too tidy on the outside, to say the least.

It certainly doesn't always feel good.

You may feel an emotional wreck for weeks.

Or you may struggle with your own fear to feel.

If you say yes, the journey begins.

Inner waters start running with the force of a tsunami, washing away and reshaping inner and outer landscapes.

Shedding tears, shaking off old dust from your cells, facing old pain and anger.

All our emotions hold the energy of the Mother.

Pure Life force!

The energy that moves rivers and make babies grow.

And then comes the stillness…

Infusing the cells with new Light, new Love.

And in the stillness you can hear deeper, much deeper truths than your own fearful thoughts..

What wants to grow through me?

What does my Soul want to manifest in the next phase?

What lights up my Soul?

Well, I begin.

I haven’t felt more alive from the times I bring Women together in sacred space.

Together, opening a portal of Healing and Remembrance, holding each other as equals, becoming sacred channels of the Mother, mirroring each other’s Beauty and Gifts.

Integrating Darkness and Light.

In radical acceptance of what is.

I have realised that when I’m not holding that space, I quickly fall into depression.

My Soul Longing is to create immersive opportunities for Women, and maybe Men in the future, to experience their Divinity.

Another Longing that is more vulnerable to express, is the longing of sacred partnership. I feel my Soul is more and more ready to open up to a partner to grow together. Feeling more appreciative of myself, of all my parts, having cultivated my relationship to my inner masculine, adorned my own temple for so long, I feel its time. Moving beyond the phantasies of the past, the trauma driven relationships that recycle the same old stories, don’t allure me so much anymore.

Another longing that comes up, is the longing of a physical h o m e.

A place in Nature where I can put my feet on the moist soil, feel my Roots and allow my inner and outer garden to blossom.

No matter what of the above manifests and how fast, my greatest Longing of all is that I don’t lose the most important connection of my Life, the one to my own Soul.

Stay loyal to my Truth, my self Worth and self Love, no matter the successes or the losses, despite outer adoration or rejection.

Remember that nothing and no one can give me lasting fulfilment or validation unless I offer it to myself.

Unless I fill my own cup and plant my own garden with lots of amazing flowers.

What is YOUR Soul Longing, Beloved?

photo by Barocco_Tribal

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